As it is a new year and some consider this a new decade,
many of you might make resolutions to be a better parent. We all have habits that we would like to
change in our parenting. Some of us
would like to yell or lecture less, others may wish to not be so
permissive. Either way, know that you
are a good parent who is showing up and trying your best everyday.
One of the most important things to not lose sight of is
connecting with your child doing something that they love (not using
technology). For instance, if your child
likes to dig in the dirt, take some uninterrupted time to dig alongside
them. If he likes to cook, have him join
you as you make lunch or dinner. It might not look perfect, but a deep
connection can arise from the time together.
If she likes to build with blocks or Legos, allow her to lead you in
building something together. Allow your
child to lead you.
Take time to listen.
This is hard, we are busy.
Everyday, make sure you make eye contact with them (all your devices put
away) and listen to what they want to tell you.
When they are upset, remember to connect with empathy. This is a hard one and its payoff is immense.
Set limits and follow through. Know what you will and will not accept in
your house and be consistent about these rules.
For instance, if food is only eaten in your kitchen, ensure that
everyone only eats in the kitchen (including the adults). When following through with the rule remember
an attitude of friendliness.
These are some of the basic tools we use and teach at
SMA. I encourage you, above all else, to
take care of yourselves. You will be
able to offer more freely your kind and firm self to children when your needs
have been met. Offer compassion to
yourself when you make a mistake. Your
children are watching how you treat yourself and they learn to treat others and
themselves that way as well.
I wish that all of you thoroughly enjoy this most honorable
job of parenting! Hope your families’
lives are filled with love, connection,
laughter and ease.
Best,
Vyju
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